2010 Thought-A-Day #206 – #212
Jul/100
Theme: Yay. Pessimism.
Sunday, 07/25/2010
#206: That which doesn’t kill you will probably try again.
Monday, 07/26/2010
#207: Silver linings signal acid rain.
Tuesday, 07/27/2010
#208: The dinosaurs would never have wanted to see this.
Wednesday, 07/28/2010
#209: Rising from the ashes still requires… rising… via ashes.
Thursday, 07/29/2010
#210: Applying makeup requires some ugly expressions.
Friday, 07/30/2010
#211: Double rainbows only cancel out. Yes, all the way.
Saturday, 07/31/2010
#212: There are no “advanced” uses for dung, chieftain.
2010 Thought-A-Day #199 – #205
Jul/100
Theme: Robot Hobbies
Sunday, 07/18/2010
#199: Robo-Cow Tipping
Monday, 07/19/2010
#200: Hunt Humans / Needlepoint (As Weather Dictates)
Tuesday, 07/20/2010
#201: Trying to Stand Still Despite Having Wheels for Feet
Wednesday, 07/21/2010
#202: Executing “Hanging Out” Subroutine
Thursday, 07/22/2010
#203: Oprah (Weekdays)
Friday, 07/23/2010
#204: Yodeling
Saturday, 07/24/2010
#205: Not Exploding
2010 Thought-A-Day #192 – #198
Jul/100
Theme: Fine Furniture
Sunday, 07/11/2010
#192: To help with side income, I’ve lined my entire house with couch cushions.
Monday, 07/12/2010
#193: The idea of distressed furniture just freaks my shit out.
Tuesday, 07/13/2010
#194: Lancelot eventually turned the Table on Arthur.
Wednesday, 07/14/2010
#195: You don’t appreciate footstools until your carpet becomes lava.
Thursday, 07/15/2010
#196: It is such a chore to Bedazzle hardwood.
Friday, 07/16/2010
#197: The average lifespan of a toilet is 50 years–a life pretty much wasted.
Saturday, 07/17/2010
#198: Be clear when asking a carpenter for a stool sample.
2010 Thought-A-Day #185 – #191
Jul/100
Theme: PAC-MAN
Sunday, 07/04/2010
#185: What did Pac-Man really do to anger the spirits, and how can we avoid this?
Monday, 07/05/2010
#186: Why don’t the ghosts just pass through the walls to get him?
Tuesday, 07/06/2010
#187: Cherry, Strawberry, Banana… Pretzel?
Wednesday, 07/07/2010
#188: I like to imagine that the “extra lives” were Pac-Kids seeking vengeance.
Thursday, 07/08/2010
#189: By eating their trail of crumbs, Pac-Man doomed Hansel and Gretel to never see home again.
Friday, 07/09/2010
#190: Do you really want the high score on an eating-themed game?
Saturday, 07/10/2010
#191: The bitter dispute with Fozzie remains unsettled to this day.
2010 Thought-A-Day #178 – #184
Jun/100
Theme: Observations
Sunday, 06/27/10
#178: I couldn’t tell if she was pregnant or if she just had bad posture.
Monday, 06/28/10
#179: You have to weigh the wear of swerving versus just hitting the pothole.
Tuesday, 06/29/10
#180: Surely some of these power lines go nowhere.
Wednesday, 06/30/10
#181: Do they sell snow globes in Miami?
Thursday, 07/01/10
#182: What the hell is Kenny Rogers thinking?
Friday, 07/02/10
#183: The lyrics in “Hip Hop Hooray” really do reference “Parker Lewis”. Weird.
Saturday, 07/03/10
#184: TV dinners have not increased in size at the rate of actual TVs.
2010 Thought-A-Day #171 – #177
Jun/100
Theme: WEIGHT LOSS TIPS
Sunday, 06/20/10
#171: Pick a least favorite limb. Eliminate it.
Monday, 06/21/10
#172: Wait until next moon visit to use scale.
Tuesday, 06/22/10
#173: Always. Be. Peeing.
Wednesday, 06/23/10
#174: Ask genie for fourth wish.
Thursday, 06/24/10
#175: Fatten up loved ones. Note: Change is relative.
Friday, 06/25/10
#176: Eat vegetarians. (Cannibals only.)
Saturday, 06/26/10
#177: Induce labor.
2010 Thought-A-Day #164 – #170
Jun/100
Theme: Science Pt. 2
Sunday, 06/13/10
#164: Fossil records prove the evolution of the Jitterbug.
Monday, 06/14/10
#165: Do quantum mechanics charge by the nanosecond?
Tuesday, 06/15/10
#166: Ever thought about where the word “etymology” came from?
Wednesday, 06/16/10
#167: Breakthroughs are discouraged at Kevlar Corporation.
Thursday, 06/17/10
#168: Small intestine or semi-colon?
Friday, 06/18/10
#169: Prism? More like racism.
Saturday, 06/19/10
#170: Speed = ( Distance / Talk Radio) x Traffic
2010 Thought-A-Day #157 – #163
Jun/100
Theme: Science Pt. 1
Sunday, 06/07/10
#157: NASA must find a way to deal with its skyrocketing costs!
Monday, 06/08/10
#158: Before Xerox, this planet had only carbon-based assforms.
Tuesday, 06/09/10
#159: Wait, no it’s not. Time travel is impossible!
Wednesday, 06/10/10
#160: If the mall is any indication, we are halfway to developing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Thursday, 06/11/10
#161: The future is here: tomorrow’s dinner has been cryogenically frozen!
Friday, 06/12/10
#162: It’s a myth that Einstein once forgot to wear pants to work. He knew from the start.
Saturday, 06/13/10
#163: Tachyons are pretty much bullshit.
2010 Thought-A-Day #150 – #156
May/100
Theme: The Courthouse
Sunday, 05/30/10
#150: Criminal courts, but law firm.
Monday, 06/01/10
#151: I object your honor. These sandwiches are delicious!
Tuesday, 06/02/10
#152: Judge’s robes: Combining dignity and pantslessness since 1603.
Wednesday, 06/03/10
#153: The courthouse remains open during inclement weather: It’s just ice!
Thursday, 06/04/10
#154: Jeff was so desperate that he had a straining order put on that one waitress.
Friday, 06/05/10
#155: Why don’t you trying saying “subpoenas” next time you get a cold?
Saturday, 06/06/10
#156: Judge Judy is kind of a bitch.
2010 Thought-A-Day #143 – #149
May/100
Theme: Medicine
Sunday, 05/23/10
#143: For diabetics, it just takes a spoonful of medicine to make the sugar go down.
Monday, 05/24/10
#144: Dr. Pepper’s degree is largely ceremonial.
Tuesday, 05/25/10
#145: Antyhing requiring a paper gown is invasive.
Wednesday, 05/26/10
#146: Poor sales continue to plague the Ped-E-Rest home foot massager.
Thursday, 05/27/10
#147: Number one casue of lung cancer: lungs.
Friday, 05/28/10
#148: Plumbers tend to suffer from recessive jeans.
Saturday, 05/29/10
#149: Which came first, the enormous medical bill or the detached retinas?
